We are so quick to judge these days. And we are so quick to hate. We judge and hate first and ask questions later. Especially in the online world. Here it is easy because we don’t have to say things to someone’s face. We know they may read them but we don’t care because we don’t have to see their reaction. We don’t have to see how our words hurt them or affect their life or their family. We can’t seem to take a breath and a step back and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. The golden rule has seemingly gone out the window.
Recently a restaurant in the mountains near where I grew up nearly got put out of business because people couldn’t take the time to get the real story. They judged and hated first. A couple times a week there is trash strewn about the property from bears getting into the dumpsters. We all know this is bad for the bears. And for people. It can become dangerous. But instead of approaching the business owner, people went to facebook to rant about it. It got bad. People boycotted the restaurant. People made threats and hateful comments online. The mob mentality seems to catch on quickly online. If you dare speak to the defense of someone then the hateful comments start pouring out towards you also. So several facebook threads spewed hate out towards this business. Instead of responding with love by trying to understand why this is happening and offering suggestions or support, people went straight to hate and were determined to tear this business and the owner down. Except my mom. My mom, who is my number one mentor in life, was sick of reading all the terrible comments and decided it was time to act. She made an appointment with the owner and got his side of the story. He has been working for months with the garbage company to get better dumpsters. They have delivered better dumpsters but every time they are no match for the bears. There are better methods of bear proofing the containers that can be found online but if he modifies the dumpsters the trash company will not pick up the trash. The business is closed two days a week and those are the days when trash is everywhere and doesn’t get picked up because the owner can’t do it himself (the dumpsters are too heavy). He has to wait until staff are there to help him. Because of all the hateful things posted online, the hate snowballed into real life hate. Besides the business being boycotted, the owner received death threats, threats to burn down the business, and had sugar put in his gas tank. All for what? Because people couldn’t think of anything but themselves. Because people choose to be bullies rather than friends. After getting his side of the story my mom posted it on facebook and the outpouring of support and suggestions was incredible. A group of high school students may be volunteering to help build a concrete barrier that will hopefully be approved by the trash company. People stopped boycotting and his patronage increased. Solutions are hopefully being found because one person, my mom, chose love over hate. Chose giving someone the benefit of the doubt rather than immediately doubting. Chose to believe that the owner was a good person with a problem he needed help with rather than believing that the owner was some sort of monster deserving to be vilified. She chose to be an every day hero by responding to the situation with love and compassion rather than hate and condemnation.
I believe even the most heinous of crimes deserves love and an attempt at understanding as a response. Look at the recent shooting in the Charleston church. Those people could have reacted with such anger and hate, but instead they chose to forgive the man who took the lives of their family members and friends. They chose to respond with compassion and love rather than hate. That is so inspiring to me. Here they are at their darkest hour, but they respond with only love in their heart.
How great would this world be if everyone could do that? What would happen if our default response was love instead of hate? If compassion instead of condemnation? If we offered to help and build people up rather than tear them down? If our communities acted like communities and we knew and cared about our neighbors and looked out for them and helped them rather than just simply living as individuals next to each other? If we recognized that we have faults and have made mistakes and that we wouldn’t want them plastered and judged all over social media? If we truly lived by the golden rule? That is a world I want to live in. My mom and the survivors of the Charleston shooting give me faith that there is still hope for a world like that.
“There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Let’s choose to see the good in all of us. Even in, and especially in, the worst of us. It just takes one person, one action, to make this world a little better. Will you be that person? Will you choose love over hate?
Leave a Reply