When you compare yourself and your life with others you tend to lose your contentment. You start playing the “If Only” and “I Wish” and “I Want” games. You start thinking that you don’t have enough or that you aren’t enough. You think about how someone has a bigger house than you, or a newer car, or is more in shape, or makes more money, or has kids who behave better, or has more friends, or, or or… You focus on what you don’t have, rather than what you do have. You become ungrateful rather than grateful. An ungrateful heart is not a happy heart. If you insist on comparing yourself with others, try to focus on comparing yourself with those that are less fortunate than you. This will point out how many blessings you do have. And if you insist on comparing yourself with people that you think have things better than you, rather than feeling self pity, use it as inspiration. You are in control of your destiny and you are the only one that can change your situation. Look at those people and if they have something you want, try to figure out what they are doing to have that success and then work on making it happen for yourself. As I’ve recently come to realize, the only thing standing in my way of success is ME. My actions and my attitude is what has kept me away from doing the things I want and getting the things I want in life. I see people having great success at certain things and instead of saying “I wish that were me” I am finally taking the steps to obtain those things also. If you don’t try, you will never succeed. Just get out there and do it!
Expecting from others. This is a hard one. Harder than not comparing to others. At least for me. We expect certain things from certain people. We expect our children to behave all the time. We expect our spouse to know what we want for our birthday or anniversary or other holidays, or when we need extra help around the house. We expect our friends to reach out a helping hand when we need it. We expect our boss to see when we deserve a raise. We expect people to know what we need and when we need it. By doing this we set ourselves up for disappointment. How are people to know these things if we don’t tell them? I know I am not a mind reader and I’m pretty sure the people in my life aren’t either. The best way to avoid disappointment is not expecting anything from others. If you need something, ask. By simply avoiding disappointment in this manner, you will inherently be happier.
I know I struggle with both of these from time to time. I get into ruts. Both with comparing myself to others and expecting people, mostly my husband, to know exactly what I want and need. But on the occasions I am able to master avoiding doing these things, I am definitely happier and more in love with life. Do you struggle with these things too or have you mastered them?
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